Puffy nipps turn me on more than anything. Sometimes when I take a immense dump it excites my prostate and I get a giant erection. Then I think gross because my boner is touching the inside rim of the toilet bowl and I got to kinda lean forward and stand so I can ‘pull out’ and not get bacteria in my pee hole. But then standing closes my rump cheeks and whatever shit still hasn’t worked itself into the toilet is now crushed between them and I’ve got quite the mess to clean up. Upon realizing this, in my half-standing half-bent over position, I usually cry out in frustration, trip over my pants that are on my ankles and fall to the bathroom floor, usually accidentally pissing on myself as I do so. Then I just kinda writhe around on the floor and take the opportunity to wank wildly, before using the best linens to clean up everything then curling into a ball and crying my eyes out for a bit…..